Esu Speaks on Anger and Connection

Esu, what is anger? How do we deal with anger in ourselves and in other people? How do we approach situations that reject what we feel is truth? How do we communicate with others who don’t want to connect? How do we teach? I ask these questions because our purpose is to guide others and work to develop awareness.

Jess, let’s talk about these issues. There is a misunderstanding that anger is righteous. Anger is an emotional reaction that is a regurgitation of memories and past experiences.  People feel thwarted or disappointed because something they felt should happen didn’t. Their body chemistry causes them to lose rational focus and begin to act spontaneously with little consideration of what is most practical and productive. They want to feel righteous, but they can’t by clinging to habitual thoughts.

The result of anger is more anger. Acts determined by feelings of anger generally fall short of the goal that is at the cause of the anger in the first place. The only way to defuse the mental block that anger leads to is to counter the attack with an unexpected non-response.  This is not saying be passive. This is not saying ignore the attack. This is saying use a reasoned reply that does not aggravate another person’s feeling of lack or failure. For anger is built on a sense of failure. Anger is a support system for inadequacy.

Remember those Biblical statements I am quoted as saying: “Let he who is without sin case the first stone. “ “Turn the other cheek.” “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; render unto God the things that are God’s.” Don’t buy into emotional attacks. They feed attitudes and perceptions that are not God’s. God is not without emotion. God is love and there can be nothing greater than the feeling he has for each of you. But feelings used without the component of thinking are misguided. Man’s feelings are colored by his experiences and his teachings. He cannot trust them unless he is certain they are also God’s feelings. God states bold facts, but he doesn’t make fun of part of his creation. He sees the error of these conceptions and he is disappointed when they turn against his truth.

But even in his disappointment, he offers a chance for these ones to change. He allows them to view the situation in their terms and offers a solution that they can understand. He doesn’t make fun of his creation because they don’t follow his ideas. He does point out the error of what they believe and he offers alternative directions they can choose to go. When they don’t make this choice, he provides others until there is only one choice left. He speaks to them in whatever way he can to break through.

You speak with others calmly and with substance. You don’t make fun of their lack of perception or awareness. You accept the fact that they have been taught one set of ideas, and that they are angry now because their expectations are not coming true. You find ways to speak to them that will challenge their perceptions instead of antagonizing them further.  You present information to them that you are certain is correct, and you do it in a way that provides a sense of support for their own ability to grasp a new idea. You don’t force feed ideas. You don’t speak of facts they have no way to understand. You approach a dialogue with them in whatever channel is possible and allows them to learn. You don’t presume your method is what they need. You don’t presume you are superior because you have more information. You have no way of knowing what a person’s life path is unless you ask about it. You can criticize their choices or their attitudes only when you know why they have chosen them.

The fact that you have feelings of anger is no reason to blame others. You look at what is causing you to be angry and you remove the memories of experiences in you that have caused this block in the first place. Once you have removed your own blocks and emotional preconceptions, you can speak to what your experiences have been in removing them. Others may learn from your example, or they may not.

Work to make changes in a positive way. See problems and desire to change them. This is commitment to purpose. This is not anger; this is dedication and resolve. This gets more accomplished that falling into habitual patterns because of anger and emotional flare ups.


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